Defying Stagnancy

Too late for second guessing -

Too late to go back to sleep -

It's time to trust my instinct,

Close my eyes - and leap!

So now that my studio is full of wonderful, talented people, I have a teaching job at a university, and my remodeling project is almost done, what am I going to do?

Move.

And I've had second thoughts, particularly when I sit on my deck in my sky chairs on a nice evening and look out over my pond. Or when any one of my students sing particularly wonderfully (which happens pretty much every day).

But in an addition to being a teacher, I'm a singer. And honestly, I haven't gotten to sing as much as I want to and as much as I still can. I proved that to myself in July when I sang in the Hal Leonard Showcase at the NATS Conference in Orlando. I proved it before that at the MacDowell Club Concert, singing the Chausson "Chanson Perpetuelle" with a piano quartet. I still have something to offer as a singer and, for some reason, it's not happening here in Milwaukee.

I'm through accepting limits

'cause someone says they're so

Some things I'll never change

But till I try, I'll never know

I can't change that I'm returning to Baltimore 17 years older than I was when I left. (I was only supposed to be here three years!) And I can't guarantee that I'm going to get singing work there, but since I'm not getting any here, it can't be worse. I  haven't been onstage in a role since 2004 and haven't been in an opera since 2001 (I'm not counting 2003's Viva la Mamma because my role was so truncated by the choice to replace recitative with dialogue that I only sang ONE solo line).

I am fulfilled by my teaching and I want to continue doing it. But it's not enough. I still need to sing. Somewhere. And the fact is that there are more opportunities for me out east than there are here.  Right now I feel like I'm just treading water and not getting anywhere. 

Unlimited - my future is unlimited.

I'm here till the end of May (big studio recital on Mother's Day - it'll be a "Best of" recital!) and then I'm going back to where I was the happiest as a performer. I'm hoping that I'll be able to combine the joy that I feel as a teacher with the joy I had as a performer. And maybe I'll find that I'm happier teaching and will scale back my performing. But till then ...

Everyone deserves a chance to fly.

I'm oiling up my wings in anticipation.

Lyrics courtesy of http://www.hamienet.com/lyrics90481.html

When to let a student go

If leaving a voice teacher is difficult, think about how difficult it is to let someone go.

First of all, you're not "firing" someone in the sense that you are paying someone and that person isn't working out, so you let them go to use your money more efficiently. Your student is paying you to teach them, and letting them go means you have to find a new source of income.

Also, because singing is such a personal thing, you want to make sure that you aren't affecting someone's self-esteem. You don't want to have someone never sing again because you let him/her go as a student.

I have never let a student go because he/she couldn't sing. If I did, I would be acknowledging that I have limitations as a teacher. I do not. :D

I have let a couple of students go because:

There was some organic vocal issue - nodules, hemorrhage - that they weren't dealing with and I felt that to continue was pointless and would cause further damage.

No-shows and excessive cancellations - these are particularly annoying to me. I find that the last-minute cancellations came the most often from adult students who weren't taking their lessons seriously. My MS/HS kids are the most dedicated students. They aren't "dabbling." This isn't something they're doing because they "gave up smoking/got a divorce/just want to do something for me."My MS/HS kids want to sing better in choir, get cast in the musical, and maybe, just maybe, go into music or theater. This is why I don't take adult amateurs any more. I'll work with adults who have some musical outlet - choir directors, community theater - something where the goal is clear and not something nebulous. Perhaps I just haven't met the right adult amateur.

They clearly didn't want to be there. These are the students who are taking lessons because their friends are taking lessons or because their parents' friends' children are taking lessons. They don't want to perform. They don't like performing, they like practicing even less, and they spend most of their lesson times checking their phones to see how close we are to being done, looking in the mirror and checking their hair, and sighing and rolling their eyes at new exercises. I have to say that I have had very few of these students in recent years. But these are also ones who no-show and cancel excessively.

This is different from the student who doesn't want to perform but wants to sing better as part of an ensemble. I don't mean to imply that I have no use for non-performers. I prefer working with performers because I love coaching them on performance practice and style. But if someone doesn't want to perform but still loves to sing and takes joy in the process, that's wonderful. That's more than enough.

They don't take summer lessons. In the last few years, I've been really liberal about summer lessons. There are some teachers who insist that you take a full semester of lessons over the summer or at least PAY for a full semester of lessons. My requirement is that you try to take lessons, ideally four. Part of this is because I have a wait list, and if I'm giving lessons to new people and then I have to turn them away in the fall because someone is coming back who didn't intend to take lessons all summer, well, that just seems unfair. "Thanks for your money this summer, but my real student is coming back." It's a question of maintaining what we accomplished during the school year and it's also a business decision. This is my primary source of income. If I can't count on a student for income in the summer and someone else has shown enthusiasm for lesson, that person gets the spot.

They don't pay me on time. See "business decision." I love teaching. I really, really do. But it is my primary source of income, and if someone consistently pays me late, it means I might be paying someone else late as a result. This isn't as much of an issue as it was when I was first teaching or when I was single, but it's a question of respect. I send money emails out every Saturday during the school year, and every Thursday or Friday out during the summer. Not paying me shows a lack of respect for what I do.

Even with all these reasons, it's difficult for me. Sometimes I just wait for them to graduate, if the behavior isn't too egregious.

Going back a few paragraphs, it's the idea of taking joy in the process. If the process is joyless for me, it's probably joyless for the student as well. And perhaps it's a question of the student not knowing when to leave the teacher and acting out rather than coming out and saying, "It's time for me to go." If this is the case for you as a student, please read my previous blog entry.

When to leave your voice teacher

The relationship between teacher and student can be a very close one, and a hard one to leave. It can be hard to know when it isn't working. I have studied with six teachers since I was 18 years old. I've been fortunate - three of those have been fantastic. The other three weren't bad teachers - we just weren't a good fit. (There were a couple of others with whom I really wasn't a good fit, but I was able to recognize it early enough so I didn't waste any time.)

I won't name the teachers with whom I didn't click but I can tell you why.

1.  My very first voice teacher was a bass who believed in lowering the larynx in order to create space. I tried that for a week. It hurt. I sounded like I was pulling my foot out of a bucket of mud. I gave that technique a week, thinking, "This doesn't feel good, this doesn't sound good... but Mr. X says it's what I have to do, so I guess it's right." At my first lesson after this idea was introduced to me, I gamely began to sing "Voi che sapete" and immediately burst into tears. I said, "I sound like an old woman! If this is what classical singing is all about, I don't wanna do it!" The poor guy - he was only a few years older than me. He mumbled awkwardly, "Well, we'll try something else." He left the college after that year. I probably would not have left him on my own. I may have had the courage to express how I felt but I wouldn't have had the guts to go anywhere else.

2. My third teacher (first post-college) was a lovely woman but I was the best student in her studio, which was a spot I did not want to occupy at that point in my life. I wasn't good enough yet to be the best student in anyone's studio. I wanted to have people better than me that could inspire me to continue to improve. I used the excuse of moving across town in order to switch teachers. (Moving was something I frequently did to get out of things, including my first marriage.)

3. My fourth teacher was a famous Romanian soprano who defected to the United States after the Communist overthrow of her country. She was also a lovely, lovely person and had some fantastic students who went on to great international careers. She didn't quite know what to do with me. She gave me repertoire that was totally wrong for me, and I didn't know any better. I did two auditions at which the panel said, "Miss Thomas, why are you singing this aria?" and I answered, "Because my teacher assigned it to me." The second time I added, "This is the second time I've been asked that question. Why do you ask?" and I was told, "This is an aria for a dramatic mezzo and you are a lyric." Up to that point, I knew nothing about fach. I thought that if it was in the mezzo aria book, I could sing it. I spent a lot of time with recordings of lyric mezzos to know just what I was supposed to sing. Then when I was assigned another big honking dramatic piece, I knew enough to stop taking lessons. (I also had the excuse of ... moving.)

So here are things that you should think about:

1. Does it feel good? Are you uncomfortable? Does it feel unnatural? That's different from something you're not used to. If it hurts, it's not good for you. If you're hoarse (not just tired), it's not good for you.

2. Are you being challenged? Does your teacher have students who are your level or higher? If he or she isn't used to working with people at a high technical level, he/she might not have enough to offer you.

3. Are you singing the right repertoire? This will require you to know just what the fach you are. :) This doesn't mean that you shouldn't sing something outside your comfort zone. It means that you shouldn't sing rep that is too heavy for your current level of ability. If you are a light lyric soprano, you shouldn't be singing Wagner. If you are a young lyric mezzo, you shouldn't sing "O mio Fernando." (See "Miss Thomas, why are you singing this aria," above.) If you are a legit MT soprano, you probably shouldn't be singing "Astonishing" in a full belt. If you are a belter, you probably shouldn't be singing a very high legit soprano. At least not in auditions. You can work on those pieces for technical reasons, but if they aren't songs in your fach, then don't perform them for anyone who counts.

Other clues that it's time to go:

• You're dreading your lesson
• You cancel at the last minute with lame excuses
• What your teacher is saying is not making sense to you and you don't know how to express that you aren't getting it, so you just nod and smile

If you can't talk to your teacher about your concerns, it's not a good fit. And your teacher probably senses it, as will be discussed in my next blog, "When to let a student go."

The Ultimate Music Theatre Audition Workshop

On June 29, I attended The Ultimate Music Theatre Audition Workshop, presented by Stage Door Access. This was a pre-conference workshop that I was grateful to have been paid for by Cardinal Stritch University (as well as the registration fee for the conference itself).

I got some interesting information, both from the written handouts and from the audition master class, which I'll summarize here:

HEADSHOTS

1. Should look like you
2. Use natural makeup and lighting 
3. You can show more than just your head
4. COLOR - no more B&W
5. Be age appropriate

RESUME

1. Don't include your home address or social security number (really? who'd put that on a resume?)
2. Make sure the overall formatting is clear
3. Don't include years
4. Put role credits before ensemble credits
5. List credits in appropriate categories
6. Format the training section clearly
7. Be clear and conside

THE SONG AUDITION

1. Do your homework. What's the style of the show? How should you look?
2. If your song is angsty, find a moment of lightness. Don't be monochromatic.
3. Less is more in terms of movement. Find more stillness.
4. Work the song as a monologue, not just as a poem.
5. A great audition is something that is watchable.
6. Bring a piece that can be played by the accompanist. If it's too hard, bring your own accompanist or bring a different piece. [As I've said, if I can't fake my way through it, don't bring it!]
7. Be very clear in conveying tempo to the pianist before beginning. Do not clap, snap or tap it!
8. Take charge of your audition!
9. If you say something more than once, find a different motivation the 2nd time.
10. It's not attitude - it's specificity. Deal with every moment in the song.
11. Earnestness is a turn-off. Find the line between earnestness and immediacy.
12. Text should follow the musical direction.
13. Be present in the room - be aware and energized! (This is not the same as earnest and overeager.)
14. Don't state your name or the name of your song. We already have it.
15. Leave when you're done - let them call you back if they want more. Don't hang around and wait. It's awkward.

THE DANCE AUDITION

1. Get out of your head. 
2. The audition is less about the steps and more about conveying the energy and expressing what you have to express.
3. Are you willing? That carries a lot more weight than whether or not you can dance. Show that you are willing to try.

AUDITION BOOK

1. Have both legit and belt pieces available.
2. Comedic
3. Character
4. Standards
5. Three ring binder with your music in non-glare sheet protectors 

Do NOT bring anthologies! [This is a total violation of copyright law!]

ATTIRE

1. This is much more casual than it used to be. Wear what you'd wear to a brunch where you're going to meet your future in-laws.
2. Be appropriate to style - contemporary shows demand contemporary wear.
3. Don't wear costumes - but do suggest the character.
4. Don't wear loose baggy clothes - let the clothes reveal your body. (But not too much!)
5. Make sure that you can move in your clothes and that they aren't distracting.

BUSINESS/NETWORKING

1. The creative team is behind the table. Know who they are. Know what they do.
2. Befriend casting directors - go to auditions, workshops, industry functions.
3. Make friends with the room monitor.
4. Treat the accompanist professionally.
5. Keep an audition journal - know who is behind the table, record the feedback, the total experience.
6. Treat the audition like an interview. When it's over, let go.

MISCELLANEOUS

1. The purpose of the audition should be to show yourself in your entirety and to match you to a role.
2. The panel wants you to be good as much as you want to be good.
3. Musical theater performers must have good musical chops and be able to learn music quickly.
4. Make the piece appropriate to the audition. 
5. Have a flexible voice. Be able to approach a phrase in a variety of ways - belt, mix, head
6. Some songs people are sick of because they're good audition songs. That's why they're so frequently done.
7. "Don't sing Sondheim" - baloney. Some Sondheim is too hard to play, some is not. [See difficulty, above.] Some are not melodic. Some are. 
8. Signature songs - individuality is important. If you can sing "Don't rain on my parade" without doing a Barbra Streisand impression [or a Lea Michelle impression of a Barbra Streisand impression], then do it.
9. Don't look overeager or crazy.
10. It's important to have an agent in NYC. Have the right agent for where you are in your career.

Benjamin Britten Centenary Celebration

On Sunday, July 1, 2012, I was blessed to perform two duets at the 52nd NATS Conference in Orlando. The composer was Benjamin Britten, 1912-1976, whose music I'd only performed before in opera - as Florence and Nancy (two separate productions - Peabody and Opera North) of Albert Herring and in the chorus of Peter Grimes at Lyric Opera of Chicago.

I sang "Mother Comfort" with Beverly O'Regan Thiele, a fantastic soprano, and the opening of "Canticle II" with Steven Stolen, a wonderful tenor. We were accompanied by Hal Leonard's vocal music editor, Richard Walters. The other singer on the program was baritone Kurt Ollmann.

I had been more nervous about the former, because I had more solo lines. However, as it turned out, the Canticle presented more challenges. Steven and I were the voice of God in this piece - consequently, everything had to be together. Onsets, phrasing, releases - our blend had to be impeccable.

And it was! It was such a fantastic experience. I got great feedback from my colleagues, those on stage and those in the audience. (Wanna know pressure? Sing for a roomful of voice teachers!)

And I didn't have any performance anxiety - except for burping. I don't know where that has been coming from. But I'll take it over dry mouth, shaking, and mental fuzziness any day!

Worst things that ever happened to me as a performer

1. When I walked up my skirt and fell into the first violinist's music stand (see previous article on performance anxiety).
2. When I had violent abdominal cramps while wearing spandex in A Cudahy Carolers Christmas and wound up going up on a line and breaking character for the first and only time in my life;
3. When I pierced my finger with a spindle during a production of Flying Dutchman at Washington Opera.
4. When I was thrown off someone's back while on tour with Pirates of Penzance and crashed into the stage, dislocating my knee and, as I found out much later, cracking my coccyx. (Didn't know that until I lost weight and no longer had padding on it.)
5. When I came home from a Friday luncheon and decided to take a nap, only to sleep through a wedding I was supposed to sing that day - although I woke up deathly ill and wound up being so sick I couldn't sing or teach for two full weeks.
6. When I drooled on someone's head on stage .... I was in Rosina at the Skylight, playing Pilar, the slutty landlady, and at one point, the soprano ties a scarf in my mouth and leads me across the stage to a blindfolded man singing a love song (he's singing to the soprano, but I think he's singing to me). Well, the scarf hit my tongue in just the right way to make me salivate. So I'm sucking back this mouthful of drool the whole time, trying frantically to keep it in my mouth - and just as I get on top of the baritone - I failed. Fortunately, he was wigged (and still blindfolded) and wasn't aware of it. I was totally humiliated!! 

The good far outweighs the bad, but those things do stick out in my mind!

GOLDEN RULES FOR CONQUERING PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

While preparing for our remodel and cleaning stuff out, I found these on an index card that I'd made up for myself that was stuffed in a drawer. From reading it, it seems that I got the actual rules from somewhere and then I wrote my own comment on it. So - I'm going to share it here, in part so I can throw away the card. :)

1. You have practiced to the best of your ability.  Trust your autopilot (aka your technique) to work.
2. Do not judge what happened or will happen.  No "What was that?" thinking!
3. Don't second-guess audience reaction. Please yourself only!
4. Be in the music, in the moment. Be on stage, not in the audience. Be in the giving mode, not the receiving one!
5. Single out one aspect of your playing that is your #1 priority (before going on stage). Breathing? Expressivity?
6. Enjoy! Let your emotions and excitement for the music be present.

I just googled the title on the card. It came from musician David Leisner. For more of his take on the subject (much of which I paraphrased, although "what was that" thinking is something I say frequently), feel free to read his article.

"Now Ulla Belt" - or not: Why We Belt

I've been doing a lot of thinking about belting lately.  I've also been re-obsessed with the score for The Producers (Book of Mormon, Spamalot, The Producers  - are we noticing a pattern here?) and I was listening to the movie soundtrack the other day. What really bothered me about the movie was Uma Thurman's casting as Ulla. While she was physically right for it, she was not vocally right. Her big song is "When you got it, flaunt it," and at one point, she says, "Now Ulla belt!' and then -- she doesn't. The point is that at that moment, she should switch from a little girl character voice to a powerful, strong woman in control of her sexuality.

Here's an example from the original Broadway cast album, featuring Cady Huffman in the role. At about 2:22, Miss Huffman belts. It's funny, it's powerful, it sets up the character as a force to be reckoned with. She's not just a pretty face (and fantastic body).

Then there's Uma Thurman in the movie version. She's singing it lower, which means it should be even easier to belt. But at 2:08, when she announces her intention to belt and then doesn't - it's disappointing. She belts a little bit after that, but the whole thing is weak. (And please, Uma, even I could belt it in that tessitura!)

Belting should be used as a statement. It can be a statement of:

1. Sexuality
2. Fun
3. Conviction
4. Empowerment

It is not a statement of

1. Tenderness
2. Sweetness
3. Sorrow (heartbreak, perhaps, but not sorrow)
4. Insecurity

So I watched a few videos and decided that a song can be belted all the way through if it's a song that's fun, upbeat, and not particularly serious. Examples of this are "Anything goes," "I got rhythm," and "Johnny One Note". Songs that are fast and short lend themselves well to an all-the-way-through belt.

Two examples of belting used specifically to make a statement:

Eden Espinosa, "Once upon a time," from Brooklyn. Miss Espinosa does a mix until 1:50, at the words, "has never felt more right." A statement of conviction. And then she belts mostly till the end, using a mix as she ascends pitch-wise, winding up on a high A-flat (!!!) on the word "right." Can we say money note??

And then there's the ultimate contemporary song of empowerment, "Astonishing," from Little Women, sung by Sutton Foster. This is a bootleg video of a live performance, and it is sung very differently from the cast album. Probably because she has the rest of the show to sing and can't blow it all out on this one song - whereas she could've just come in and sang the song for the recording and nothing else. Recordings offer the luxury of risk-tasking in a way that 8 shows a week do not.

Notice the use of mix throughout this performance. When she sings of her yearning for a return to the simplicity, it's a very mixed sound. As she grows stronger in her conviction that she wants to and will be more, it becomes chest-dominant. But a full belt does not kick in until about 5:00 in, on "In my own way - today," and stays strong throughout the whole "Here I go" section. Empowerment.

Also notice that the high e-flat on "Astonishing" (the money note, the whole point of this song!) is mixed. It's much more true to the vowel than on the recording, where it becomes "astonishang!" in order for her to get a brassier sound. I find over-modification of a vowel, whether it be toward a more neutral sound in classical music or a more spread sound in musical theater, to be distracting. Vowel integrity should be maintained. Yes, the amount that the mouth is open and/or its shape may need to change but the tongue doesn't always have to - and that's what determines intelligibility.  Does the performance lose anything by her mixing that note? The audience doesn't seem to think so, by their reaction.

Just because you can belt a song all the way through doesn't necessarily mean you should. What are you saying? What is your mood? A belt can be thrilling if it comes in at the most effective and appropriate moment. Where should you belt? Why should you belt?

Even though I am re-defining myself as a classical singer, I love a good belt. And when it comes in at just the right place, it's thrilling beyond belief. When it doesn't come in or comes in at the wrong place - not so much.

It's time for me to face the Fach....

The day before the oh-so-successful MacDowell Club performance, which clinched my knowledge that, yes, I am a classical singer and a good one at that, I auditioned for Sunset Playhouse's Musical Mainstage Series. I sang Cole Porter's "Give him the oo-la-la." It went okay. But when I came home from Baltimore, I found a rejection letter from them.

I wasn't even going to audition. I'd made up my mind that I am a classical/opera singer and that I wasn't going to pursue any musical theater kind of stuff. But then I thought, "What the heck." I shouldn't have. The best thing I got out of it was that the dress I chose to wear looked really great on me (I'd forgotten I had it!) and I'm going to take it with me to Orlando.

I know that I shouldn't be upset about not getting cast. Or bitter. It's what I tell all my students. And it's not that I haven't had a lot of rejection over the last 8 years - which coincides with how long it's been since I lost my focus (i.e., Cudahy Carolers Christmas - my biggest career misstep). But I set myself up for this one by not facing that my Fach is that of classical mezzo-soprano.

And what really bothers me about MT auditions is that you can't present a whole song. This audition allowed me to do 32 measures. Most do 16. And not from the show. What the hell is that? In opera, you come in with at least one aria from the show you're auditioning for, plus a few others as well. You pick one, they pick one. You get to display a whole range of emotions. You have to demonstrate that you can sing that role, not just that you can sing.

I won't be auditioning for any more musical theater roles, unless it's something SO legit that I can justify it.  And as far as auditions go, most everyone in town has already heard me. They know what I have to offer and if they want to get in touch with me, they can call me.

So right now my focus is on my upcoming performance with Beverly Thiele ("Mother Comfort") and Steven Stoler ("Abraham and Isaac") in the Hal Leonard Showcase at NATS in Orlando (July 1, 1pm!). And then on my November 18 recital at Cardinal Stritch University with soprano Amelia Spierer and mezzo Kay Belich (my partners in crime), accompanied by Dr. James Norden.

I will be indulging my creative side in a couple of song parodies to be performed.... not giving anything away just yet!

I'm ME again!

Today I performed the Chausson "Chanson Perpetuelle" with Muzika Piano Trio and guests Kay Black and Rebecca Schulz at St. John's on the Lake. I have to say that it was the best singing I'd done publicly in awhile. I have to thank Connie Haas for making me realize that I was off-track (too much musical theater!).

One of my friends said, "I've never heard you sing classical before." I thought, "You haven't??? What the hell???" I guess it's been awhile.

But I felt like I was singing organically, both technically and dramatically. I really felt engaged with the music in a way that I haven't been for quite some time.

Things are feeling great. Next up: "Mother Comfort" and "Abraham & Isaac" in the Hal Leonard Showcase at NATS Orlando, and a recital with Kay Belich, Amelia Spierer and Jim Norden in November. I'm psyched.

I do have a new manifestation of nerves, which I noticed at the Coronation Mass concert and again today: Burping. Fortunately, it was easy to overcome.

I suck.

That is pretty much all I have to say.

Not as a singer. Not as teacher. But in knee-jerk reactions that I am usually able to control.

I did not control them this past weekend and I hurt someone I care about. Without even intending to.

My apologies. You know you are. Please know that right now, my opinion of myself is....

that I suck.

50 shades of ....

I was thinking of how I would explain my feelings about a recent situation to my sister, the interior designer,  in a way that she would be able to relate to.

Imagine clients came to you and told you that they really, really liked the color red and wanted their house to reflect that.

So you create a palette of reds, reflecting the nuances and subtleties as well as having some bold accents here and there. A true example of chiaroscuro, bright and dark, light and shadow. Elegant, classy, at times understated, but definite pops of color in places where it would be warranted. There's rose, there's burgundy, there's some cherry red pillows, all of them helping to express what that room needs to express. You worked on that palette for months, consulting with the clients, getting to know their house and tastes and came up with the perfect design. Both you and the clients are totally thrilled with the design and are excited to see it implemented.

And then they went to buy paint and fabric, with their carefully selected design choices in hand, and the store manager told them that what they really want is fire engine red. Everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, the sofas, chairs, everything. That's what they really want and what's more, that's the only thing that the store manager will sell them.

So now you have a room with no subtlety, with no light, no shadow, and it just screams at everyone from the moment they walk in to the moment they hurriedly rush out the door.  And you are angry because they took someone else's advice in the moment after all the time you spent working together (plus people who know that you worked together will think that you're responsible for this one-dimensional outcome, and that does nothing for your reputation).

And that's how I feel.

All singers should have a palette of colors to draw from. You could define that as chest mix, head mix, belt, head voice, etc. You can define it by dynamics, by tempi, by every element that you have to offer as a performer.  I try my hardest to help you find that palette so that when you're ready to perform, you have something of beauty to show us (which goes beyond merely pretty) and to tell us a story, a story that has a beginning and an end.

Don't just throw the vocal equivalent of fire engine red paint at us willy-nilly. (Unless, of course, we're wearing fur.) Otherwise you have wasted the teacher's and your own time and your money. And you're not telling a story.

Competitions - Subjective Wastes of Time or Valuable Learning Tools?

Yesterday was the MacDowell Club of Milwaukee's first annual (?) music marathon, which was a competition for classical performers ages 14-19. Four of my students entered; two placed. All four sounded and looked fantastic, and sang at a level which I considered their personal bests up till now.

Competitions are hard. Not so much the getting up and doing them part, but the results part. Of course, that part is easier when you win or place, but that doesn't happen all that often. I have never won a competition. I never went to state for WSMA; they added the starred first my senior year of high school, and of course, that year I got a first. No star. 

I suppose if I counted 2nd runner-up in the Miss West Allis Pageant as a competition, that's not entirely true. The best thing about that was that my sponsor was Steve's Glass, so I had a banner across my body that said Miss Steve's Glass. It could have been worse. A friend of mine in the Miss Cudahy Pageant was sponsored by Advanced Screw Corporation.

Not winning or placing in one competition does not mean that you won't win or place in another one. By the same token, winning or placing in one competition does not guarantee that you will win or place in the next. There are people who won or placed at NATS who had trouble getting a college to take them for music; there are people who did not make it to the NATS finals who are now at or will be attending prestigious conservatories or universities.

The singing world is full of professional competitors who don't actually get any work.

Seth Godin, a motivational speaker and marketing entrepreneur, said this in his blog the other day (bolding mine):

Don't expect applause

Accept applause, sure, please do.

But when you expect applause, when you do your work in order (and because of) applause, you have sold yourself short.That's because your work is depending on something out of your control. You have given away part of your art. If your work is filled with the hope and longing for applause, it's no longer your work--the dependence on approval has corrupted it, turned it into a process where you are striving for ever more approval.

Who decides if your work is good? When you are at your best, you do. If the work doesn't deliver on its purpose, if the pot you made leaks or the hammer you forged breaks, then you should learn to make a better one. But we don't blame the nail for breaking the hammer or the water for leaking from the pot. They are part of the system, just as the market embracing your product is part of marketing.

"Here, here it is, it's finished."

If it's finished, the applause, the thanks, the gratitude are something else. Something extra and not part of what you created. To play a beautiful song for two people or a thousand is the same song, and the amount of thanks you receive isn't part of that song.

Substitute "awards" for "applause" and you get the idea. 

If you do not win or place, this does not define you as a singer, as an actor, as a performer. You define yourself. You do the work, you do it well. You cannot control outcome, only process. All of yesterday's performers should be proud of their process - they did the work, and they did it well. 

Bravo to all four of you!!

Awwww........

My May/June 2012 issue of Journal of Singing arrived. This journal offers articles on vocal pedagogy on topics ranging from scientific analyses of the vocal mechanism to pragmatic points of view on studio development to reviews of books, scores and recordings.

The regular recordings column, "The Listener's Gallery" is written by Carthage voice teacher and baritone Gregory Berg. This month, Greg opens the column with a review of a website, "The 50 Best Blogs for Opera Students" and profiles some of the great websites out there. One in particular is Susan Eichhorn-Young's Once More with Feeling, which offers great tips for the singer/actor, especially ones based in NYC.

Greg also discusses a few blogs not on the list. I was pleasantly surprised was when I got to the fourth page of the article, and found these words:

A teacher in Milwaukee, Wisconsin named Christine O'Meally shares some excellent writing in her blog Why I Sing, including thoughtful posts on performance anxiety, how to effectively practice, and a hard hitting essay on the evils of illegal copying that is well worth reading and sharing.

Again I say, "Awww." And it makes me realize that I start being more consistent with my writing.

Thank you, Greg!

MUSIC MARATHON & MUSIC SALE

I have been a member of the MacDowell Club Board for the last two years. The Club has been around for 102 years, and its mission is:

 To further musical interests in Milwaukee, provide performing opportunities for professional and amateur musicians, and acquaint the general public with the number and excellence of local artists.

One of these performing opportunities will take place this Sunday, April 29 at Wisconsin Lutheran College in Wauwatosa. Eight performances between the ages of 14 and 19 will be performing for cash awards. The money was provided by the Argosy Foundation, and a stipulation of the competition is that the selections performed must include a piece composed in the last 20 years.

Four of my current students will be singing on this program. They are:

Anna Aiuppa - Vittoria, mio core; Till there was you; American anthem*
Stephanie Kritzell - Vergebliches Ständchen; V'adoro pupille; The lake isle of Innisfree
Siena Muehlfeld - Gia il sole dal Gange; Take, o take those lips away; On music*
Eileen Peterson - Silent noon; An die musik; This heart that flutters*

*post-1992

Donations of $5 are suggested and will go toward the Club's scholarship fund.

Please come and support them! And while you're at it, we'll have a lot of PRE-1992 music for sale in the lobby. Prices will range from 50¢ to $3.

The music sale will begin at 1:30 and the competition will begin at 3:00. Awards will be given out sometime between 4:30 and 5:00pm.

Back to Basics

This year got off to a rather jolting start. I decided to listen to my CD from my September 23 recital.

My overall reaction?

I. Hated. It.

Now, I usually hate listening to recordings, at least initially, and then when I've had some distance, I listen and say, "Oh, that's actually quite good." And with a few years distance, I'll say, "Damn. That's good singing!" (I have the same reaction to papers and articles I've written - I read them a few years later and think, "Geez, I can write!)

But this was different. This was an "OH MY G*D WHAT HAVE I DONE?" kind of response.

I like to think I'm self-aware, and that I know when I'm off-track vocally. I'm not, at least right now, and I didn't. And then I thought, "Have I ever been? Was I really as good as I thought?"

So I went back to listen to some of those older recordings and realized that yes, yes, I was. Correction: Yes, I am.

So I've figured out that I've fallen off the track because of my explorations into musical theater and cabaret. While I love those genres, especially the creativity of cabaret, I don't think they're benefiting my voice right now. And they're not benefiting what I've been trained to do and what I have done, quite well, for many years. And they are not representing me as a singer. This is one of the reasons that I think I have fallen through the cracks in the last 9 years - I have not presented myself as a classical singer. People don't know what I am and they're not all that willing to find out. I need to re-present myself as the singer that I really am so that people will want to come hear me sing and will want to work with me because I'm really good at that style. I'm a great classical singer (speaking in the present tense, because I will fix this) and I'm just an okay MT singer. It's time for people to know this. Again.

So effective immediately, although I will still continue to love cabaret and musical theater, and to teach it and to explore the best technical methods of doing so, in my own life, I am returning to my roots and going back to basics. I am going to practice the way I encourage my students to practice, focusing on getting my technical skills where they were when I got distracted by A Cudahy Carolers Christmas in 2003 (which, while it was fun, was probably the biggest career error I made).

Like Chris Mann said on The Voice the other night, “I’ve tried to shrink my voice down to fit in.... I decided for this show I was just going to sing like myself.”

Yeah. Me too.