Watch your language!

I have been doing morning meditations using an app called The Daily Calm. At the end of each meditation, a graphic comes up summarizing the most important point of the day's "lesson." Today it was language.

Shortly after I finished my meditation, I went to peruse Facebook (big surprise, I know), and came across a link to an article about the enduring pain of childhood verbal abuse. I thought this was an amazing bit of serendipity and probably what I should talk about today.

I grew up in a household where praise was not easily thrown around. (Okay, it was never thrown around.) If I misbehaved, I was told that there was clearly something wrong with me - perhaps it was that fever I'd had when I was a child, perhaps I was just intrinsically bad. I was generally a well-behaved child, and any bad behavior was normal for a kid of my age, whether that age was 4 or 14. (And really, how bad could a 4 year old be that would warrant someone calling the recorded weather and saying, "Hello, police? I have a bad little girl here. Can you come and get her?" in a voice loud enough for the terrified 4-year-old to hear, resulting in said child groveling in tears at your feet???) This kind of approach led me into a cycle of shame that took me a very long time to get over. I worried that perhaps there was something wrong with me. That I was fooling everyone with my so-called "talent" and that I was a fraud.

Despite that upbringing, I grew up to make choices that my mother didn't like - I went to college and graduate school for music, a field both parents disapproved of, I moved across country, I left a marriage that made me unhappy, I learned to drive stick shift (so unfeminine!), I dyed my hair auburn, I opened my own voice studio instead of settling for a day job - and I was and am happy. (Surprisingly, my not having children was never an issue.)

And I am very careful with my language with my students. I never want to shame anyone. Words have consequences. I'm honest with my students, but I always try to find the good in their efforts, even when I'm addressing vocal issues that need improvement. Sometimes I've slipped up. And often I'm not so careful with myself. But I'm working on it.

Seize the day (the hour, the minute, the second - just grab it)

I only have 4 weeks left of summer break before school starts. In that time, I have quite a few projects that I want to finish, all of which I've enumerated in previous posts. There's not much time left.

And it makes me think of the passing of time and things I won't ever get the chance to do, after all. Which is a bit disheartening. It was one of the reasons I moved - I wasn't performing in Milwaukee, and I knew that my shelf life as an artist was, at that point, limited. La voce is still holding out, and quite well, thankyouverymuch, but the logistics are that there are others coming up and perhaps it's their turn. I had my turn. Maybe I should have made more of it. Maybe it just was what it had to be at the time.

When I was in my mid-30s, I played the Queen of the Fairies in G&S' Iolanthe. Now I look at that role as one that should be played by someone older. Like, perhaps, oh, I don't know - ME. Again. I played Katisha at that age, too. I can still play those roles. I won't be playing Pitti-Sing again, or Lady Angela, but I can still play Ruth.

I won't be singing Dorabella or Rosina, but there are other supporting/character roles I can still do. Marcellina. Berta. Baba. Mum. Florence. Mother Abbess. Mother Superior. 

Someone spoke disparagingly of me recently to another colleague, saying that I cast myself as Marmee "out of ego." Well, Maureen McGovern was about the same age as I am when she created the role and when she did the national tour, so I wasn't too old for that, but I will be shortly. And besides, I sang the hell out of it and I wanted to do it. And I got great reviews for it. (And so did the person who spoke disparagingly of me, in the role in which I cast her. But that's another story.) I can play Aunt March for another 20 years. There's time for that. 

In the song, "Unchained melody," the lyric goes:

"Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much"

I submit that time goes by so quickly - and we must make much of the time that we have. 

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying

And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."

Carpe diem, y'all.

Decluttering

I've been doing a lot of thinking about decluttering my life in all aspects.

• I'm trying to organize my garb closet/prop room so that things are easily accessible and no one is screaming on the morning that we're heading to the Maryland Renaissance Festival, "Where is my hat? Where are my leggings? Why can I never find anything?" (Needless to say, this is not me, because I would've been looking for them the night before, not the morning of.) But I also want them to look good and I want to look at my things and see different options, not just "Oh well, I don't know where this is, so therefore I'll wear this instead."
  
• I've given away a bunch of jewelry and clothing that no longer suited me and I'm trying to determine what my style is. I don't want anything that's too fussy (at least not for every day - fussy is fine for special occasions). Right now I'm looking at streamlined and simple. Kind of a uniform.
  
• And as far as my teaching is going, I've decided not to teach classes, at least this year. I just don't want to have to grade papers, take attendance, and worry about classroom management. I only want to teach voice and do my own singing. And I really want to teach voice primarily at home, which is why I left Oldfields (keeping my HCC job, though).
  
• Speaking of singing, I'm thinking of cutting back on some of the singing that doesn't bring me joy. Kind of like the Marie Kondo's Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up book. I enjoy my church job, Concert Artists, temple job, and hopefully I'll enjoy returning to WNO this year, but I'm not sure I really want to do run-outs of gigs that aren't that rewarding to me.
  
• I want to pursue more teaching things like workshops, and take advantage of attending more workshops as well. 

It's nice to be able to pick and choose things, and I am aware that right now I am very lucky to be in "feast" mode, especially after the 10 years of "famine" I struggled with while in Milwaukee. 

Taking criticism

Some of the negative criticism I've had, professionally:

1. "My dear, you are not a mezzo. You do not have the low notes to be a mezzo and if you don't by your age, you never will." (Judge at a competition - I was 30 and had just started working with my teacher a year before; the low notes came in a few months later.)
2. "Christine Thomas, while adequate, paled in comparison with last year's alto, the splendid Theodora Hanslowe." (Washington Post review - Teddy Hanslowe was an awesome mezzo, but considering I had walked up my skirt and fell on my face before "He shall feed his flock," I'll take adequate. But still. Crappy thing to say.)
3. "Do you really think you're suited to American song?" (Blanche Thebom, judge at the American Traditions Competition. My response, "Yes, I do. I'm an American and I love the music and I sing it well." And now she's dead and I'm not, so there.)

Some of the positive criticism I've had:

1. "Christine Thomas sang the role of the Cat in a way that made you want to hear her Carmen." (Joe McLellan, Washington Post, regarding my performance in Starbird. Never did sing Carmen, but I held that close to my heart for years. First review.)
2. "The role of Smeton is one in which to spot future stars. Christine Thomas fits the bill." (Octavio Roca, Washington Times, regarding Anna Bolena. Really should've pursued an agent after that.)
3. “Thomas' voice, an amazing instrument" (James Auer, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, regarding my performance of Yehuda Yanny's "Incantations.")
4. "The wildly randy Wanda Kazlakowski" (Elaine Schmidt, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, regarding A Cudahy Carolers Christmas.) 
5. "The girls’ mother, Marmee, was played with quiet dignity and wisdom by Christine Thomas, who also directed the play. Thomas has an amazing voice, and small wonder as she’s performed extensively as an opera singer. Listening to her solos was one of the richest treats of the show." (Liz Ruth-Brinegar, MD Theatre Guide, Little Women)
6. "As Marmee March, she is a vocal powerhouse. She has a strong, clean vocal style and commands the stage with every note in her solos “Here Alone” and “Days of Plenty.” Her portrayal as the matriarch of four daughters is admirable and she seems quite comfortable in the role." (Jason Crawford Samios-Uy, Backstage Baltimore)
7. "Thomas has a striking voice that is perfectly suited for her solo numbers. Filling both “Days of Plenty” and “Here Alone” with mournful sorrow and deep nostalgia, Thomas emotionally connects to the songs on a deep and earnest level, creating a much revered Marmee." (Mandy Gunther, Theater Bloom)*

*Mandy also found me somewhat aloof and frigid in the role, initially, but I blame that on the fact that I was also directing the show and there was something going on with the Christmas tree and the projections right before I went on, so I was distracted. But I clearly got over it by the time I had to sing. 

So I take the good and I throw out the bad. Or, rather I decide if the bad had any merit, and if it didn't, move on.

As Sondheim said in Sunday in the Park with George (the video of which I posted a few weeks ago), you have to move on....

Stop worrying where you're going

Move on

If you can know where you're going

You've gone

Just keep moving on

I chose, and my world was shaken

So what?

The choice may have been mistaken

The choosing was not

You have to move on...

My Favorite "Sings"

I wrote this nearly 17 years ago (!!!) when I was in the infancy of my teaching career, and it still pretty much describes my approach to vocal technique. I may have published this before but I can't find it, and it showed up in my FB memories this morning, so here goes:

My Favorite Sings
To the tune of (oh, you know!)

Lip trills and buzzes and breath exercises -
Whimper like a puppy to find where your sighs* is -
Expand your bottom ribs as though they were wings,
These are a few of my favorite sings!

Sing thru the "stick shift" to free the passaggio**,
Blow on your finger to feel the appoggio,
Locate your resonance with lots of "ming-mings",
These are a few of my favorite sings!

Don't lift your chin up, it pulls on your larynx!
A noisy breath means you're tightening your pharynx!
Relax your shoulders and all other things,
Get ready to work on your favorite sings!

Don't gasp or wheeze!
An incipient sneeze
Will give space to you
And don't forget if you look
weird when you sing,
You'll probably sound weird too!

*sighs - balanced onset exercise
**a chromatic exercise for registration

Found a composer!

I am thrilled to announce that Garth Baxter has agreed to accept a commission to compose three Irish songs. Garth and I have been Facebook friends for awhile now, and he has written some pieces for a good friend of mine, soprano Annie Gill, and so I thought I'd check out some of his work on YouTube.

The first song that came up was a choral setting of "Wild Mountain Thyme," which I posted the other day as the song that has meant a lot to my husband and me at our regular pilgrimages to Milwaukee Irish Fest. I thought that this was a sign, so I contacted Garth immediately.

I'm in the process of getting the poems pronounced for me and I've ordered an Irish-English dictionary from Amazon to help me do a word for word translation.

This is very exciting. I don't know when we'll get started, let alone finished, but I think this will be a fantastic collaboration!!

Now to decide whether the recital they'll be on will be the originally intended "outside the box" theme or if I'll just go with a Celtic theme and reprise some of the things that I did with MacDowell Club a few years ago....

More info to follow!

Cringeworthy wedding/funeral music

These are all songs I have sung (or heard) at weddings that made me cringe:

• Beauty & the Beast (The Musical): Unless both the bride and groom are beautiful. Otherwise people will smirk.
• You and Me Against the World (Helen Reddy): Seriously, what does this say about your guests? Plus there's a line about "Remember when we went to the circus and you were scared of the clowns." Really? 
• O mio babbino caro (from the opera Gianni Schicchi): The text literally means "O dear daddy, let me marry my boyfriend or I will go to the highest point and jump into the Arno River. Oh god, I wish I were dead." NO.
• The Wedding Song: If you have a guitarist, maybe. On organ, it's death. And really, it's only one note. Over and over and over. I have a friend who charges an extra $100 to sing that song. I just try to talk people out of it.
• Unforgettable (Nat King Cole): No religious reference whatsoever. Lounge lizard material. Save it for the reception.
• The Prayer (Bocelli/Dion): It's not a solo. If you have a tenor and mezzo, okay. But as a soloist, it doesn't work. It's awkward. (Honestly, even as a duet, I feel like it's the tenor sings in Italian and then the mezzo translates.... it's weird.)
• Endless Love (Lionel Ritchie): The song is about teen sex. Again, if it's a duet, you might be able to make it work. But really, ew.
• Power of Love (Celine Dion): Yes, I sang this as the recessional at a Catholic wedding. I couldn't believe they allowed it. The priest even structured his homily around it. The chorus was "'Cause I am your lady - And you are my man - Whenever you reach for me - I'll do all that I can." NO. This is church. We're not singing about SEX. Not that there's anything wrong with sex. It's just not appropriate in a church service.

Basically, if you are getting married in a church, your music needs to reference God and/or Jesus somehow. Otherwise, do a civil service. I did a wedding years ago where not a single reading or song talked about God. Then why get married in a church? Have a civil service and then have whatever music you want at the reception.

Not that I'm opinionated or anything.

I'm more liberal on funerals. If a song meant something to the deceased, great. I've sung "Look for the silver lining," "Somewhere my love," and "Every day of my life," all songs that meant something to the deceased or the deceased's immediate family. The worst funeral I ever sang was for a 95 year old man at which I had to sing a contemporary Christian song that (A) did not fit my voice (B) I'm sure he'd never heard, and (C) former Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson was the eulogist. I felt like that funeral wasn't authentic. If the deceased could've, he would've sat up in his coffin and said, "What the hell is that cheesy piece of music? I wanted Amazing Grace!"

Your wedding should reflect your beliefs, your hopes and your dreams. Not just pretty songs that you like. They should mean something. Your funeral should reflect things that were important in your life.

At my funeral (not the church service, but the memorial service/wake), I want this video to be played. If it's not, I will haunt you all. (Plus I met Tommy Tune in the elevator at the Kennedy Center back in the 90s, so there's a sentimental value besides the words meaning everything to me.)