Benjamin Britten Centenary Celebration

On Sunday, July 1, 2012, I was blessed to perform two duets at the 52nd NATS Conference in Orlando. The composer was Benjamin Britten, 1912-1976, whose music I'd only performed before in opera - as Florence and Nancy (two separate productions - Peabody and Opera North) of Albert Herring and in the chorus of Peter Grimes at Lyric Opera of Chicago.

I sang "Mother Comfort" with Beverly O'Regan Thiele, a fantastic soprano, and the opening of "Canticle II" with Steven Stolen, a wonderful tenor. We were accompanied by Hal Leonard's vocal music editor, Richard Walters. The other singer on the program was baritone Kurt Ollmann.

I had been more nervous about the former, because I had more solo lines. However, as it turned out, the Canticle presented more challenges. Steven and I were the voice of God in this piece - consequently, everything had to be together. Onsets, phrasing, releases - our blend had to be impeccable.

And it was! It was such a fantastic experience. I got great feedback from my colleagues, those on stage and those in the audience. (Wanna know pressure? Sing for a roomful of voice teachers!)

And I didn't have any performance anxiety - except for burping. I don't know where that has been coming from. But I'll take it over dry mouth, shaking, and mental fuzziness any day!

Worst things that ever happened to me as a performer

1. When I walked up my skirt and fell into the first violinist's music stand (see previous article on performance anxiety).
2. When I had violent abdominal cramps while wearing spandex in A Cudahy Carolers Christmas and wound up going up on a line and breaking character for the first and only time in my life;
3. When I pierced my finger with a spindle during a production of Flying Dutchman at Washington Opera.
4. When I was thrown off someone's back while on tour with Pirates of Penzance and crashed into the stage, dislocating my knee and, as I found out much later, cracking my coccyx. (Didn't know that until I lost weight and no longer had padding on it.)
5. When I came home from a Friday luncheon and decided to take a nap, only to sleep through a wedding I was supposed to sing that day - although I woke up deathly ill and wound up being so sick I couldn't sing or teach for two full weeks.
6. When I drooled on someone's head on stage .... I was in Rosina at the Skylight, playing Pilar, the slutty landlady, and at one point, the soprano ties a scarf in my mouth and leads me across the stage to a blindfolded man singing a love song (he's singing to the soprano, but I think he's singing to me). Well, the scarf hit my tongue in just the right way to make me salivate. So I'm sucking back this mouthful of drool the whole time, trying frantically to keep it in my mouth - and just as I get on top of the baritone - I failed. Fortunately, he was wigged (and still blindfolded) and wasn't aware of it. I was totally humiliated!! 

The good far outweighs the bad, but those things do stick out in my mind!

GOLDEN RULES FOR CONQUERING PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

While preparing for our remodel and cleaning stuff out, I found these on an index card that I'd made up for myself that was stuffed in a drawer. From reading it, it seems that I got the actual rules from somewhere and then I wrote my own comment on it. So - I'm going to share it here, in part so I can throw away the card. :)

1. You have practiced to the best of your ability.  Trust your autopilot (aka your technique) to work.
2. Do not judge what happened or will happen.  No "What was that?" thinking!
3. Don't second-guess audience reaction. Please yourself only!
4. Be in the music, in the moment. Be on stage, not in the audience. Be in the giving mode, not the receiving one!
5. Single out one aspect of your playing that is your #1 priority (before going on stage). Breathing? Expressivity?
6. Enjoy! Let your emotions and excitement for the music be present.

I just googled the title on the card. It came from musician David Leisner. For more of his take on the subject (much of which I paraphrased, although "what was that" thinking is something I say frequently), feel free to read his article.

"Now Ulla Belt" - or not: Why We Belt

I've been doing a lot of thinking about belting lately.  I've also been re-obsessed with the score for The Producers (Book of Mormon, Spamalot, The Producers  - are we noticing a pattern here?) and I was listening to the movie soundtrack the other day. What really bothered me about the movie was Uma Thurman's casting as Ulla. While she was physically right for it, she was not vocally right. Her big song is "When you got it, flaunt it," and at one point, she says, "Now Ulla belt!' and then -- she doesn't. The point is that at that moment, she should switch from a little girl character voice to a powerful, strong woman in control of her sexuality.

Here's an example from the original Broadway cast album, featuring Cady Huffman in the role. At about 2:22, Miss Huffman belts. It's funny, it's powerful, it sets up the character as a force to be reckoned with. She's not just a pretty face (and fantastic body).

Then there's Uma Thurman in the movie version. She's singing it lower, which means it should be even easier to belt. But at 2:08, when she announces her intention to belt and then doesn't - it's disappointing. She belts a little bit after that, but the whole thing is weak. (And please, Uma, even I could belt it in that tessitura!)

Belting should be used as a statement. It can be a statement of:

1. Sexuality
2. Fun
3. Conviction
4. Empowerment

It is not a statement of

1. Tenderness
2. Sweetness
3. Sorrow (heartbreak, perhaps, but not sorrow)
4. Insecurity

So I watched a few videos and decided that a song can be belted all the way through if it's a song that's fun, upbeat, and not particularly serious. Examples of this are "Anything goes," "I got rhythm," and "Johnny One Note". Songs that are fast and short lend themselves well to an all-the-way-through belt.

Two examples of belting used specifically to make a statement:

Eden Espinosa, "Once upon a time," from Brooklyn. Miss Espinosa does a mix until 1:50, at the words, "has never felt more right." A statement of conviction. And then she belts mostly till the end, using a mix as she ascends pitch-wise, winding up on a high A-flat (!!!) on the word "right." Can we say money note??

And then there's the ultimate contemporary song of empowerment, "Astonishing," from Little Women, sung by Sutton Foster. This is a bootleg video of a live performance, and it is sung very differently from the cast album. Probably because she has the rest of the show to sing and can't blow it all out on this one song - whereas she could've just come in and sang the song for the recording and nothing else. Recordings offer the luxury of risk-tasking in a way that 8 shows a week do not.

Notice the use of mix throughout this performance. When she sings of her yearning for a return to the simplicity, it's a very mixed sound. As she grows stronger in her conviction that she wants to and will be more, it becomes chest-dominant. But a full belt does not kick in until about 5:00 in, on "In my own way - today," and stays strong throughout the whole "Here I go" section. Empowerment.

Also notice that the high e-flat on "Astonishing" (the money note, the whole point of this song!) is mixed. It's much more true to the vowel than on the recording, where it becomes "astonishang!" in order for her to get a brassier sound. I find over-modification of a vowel, whether it be toward a more neutral sound in classical music or a more spread sound in musical theater, to be distracting. Vowel integrity should be maintained. Yes, the amount that the mouth is open and/or its shape may need to change but the tongue doesn't always have to - and that's what determines intelligibility.  Does the performance lose anything by her mixing that note? The audience doesn't seem to think so, by their reaction.

Just because you can belt a song all the way through doesn't necessarily mean you should. What are you saying? What is your mood? A belt can be thrilling if it comes in at the most effective and appropriate moment. Where should you belt? Why should you belt?

Even though I am re-defining myself as a classical singer, I love a good belt. And when it comes in at just the right place, it's thrilling beyond belief. When it doesn't come in or comes in at the wrong place - not so much.

It's time for me to face the Fach....

The day before the oh-so-successful MacDowell Club performance, which clinched my knowledge that, yes, I am a classical singer and a good one at that, I auditioned for Sunset Playhouse's Musical Mainstage Series. I sang Cole Porter's "Give him the oo-la-la." It went okay. But when I came home from Baltimore, I found a rejection letter from them.

I wasn't even going to audition. I'd made up my mind that I am a classical/opera singer and that I wasn't going to pursue any musical theater kind of stuff. But then I thought, "What the heck." I shouldn't have. The best thing I got out of it was that the dress I chose to wear looked really great on me (I'd forgotten I had it!) and I'm going to take it with me to Orlando.

I know that I shouldn't be upset about not getting cast. Or bitter. It's what I tell all my students. And it's not that I haven't had a lot of rejection over the last 8 years - which coincides with how long it's been since I lost my focus (i.e., Cudahy Carolers Christmas - my biggest career misstep). But I set myself up for this one by not facing that my Fach is that of classical mezzo-soprano.

And what really bothers me about MT auditions is that you can't present a whole song. This audition allowed me to do 32 measures. Most do 16. And not from the show. What the hell is that? In opera, you come in with at least one aria from the show you're auditioning for, plus a few others as well. You pick one, they pick one. You get to display a whole range of emotions. You have to demonstrate that you can sing that role, not just that you can sing.

I won't be auditioning for any more musical theater roles, unless it's something SO legit that I can justify it.  And as far as auditions go, most everyone in town has already heard me. They know what I have to offer and if they want to get in touch with me, they can call me.

So right now my focus is on my upcoming performance with Beverly Thiele ("Mother Comfort") and Steven Stoler ("Abraham and Isaac") in the Hal Leonard Showcase at NATS in Orlando (July 1, 1pm!). And then on my November 18 recital at Cardinal Stritch University with soprano Amelia Spierer and mezzo Kay Belich (my partners in crime), accompanied by Dr. James Norden.

I will be indulging my creative side in a couple of song parodies to be performed.... not giving anything away just yet!

I'm ME again!

Today I performed the Chausson "Chanson Perpetuelle" with Muzika Piano Trio and guests Kay Black and Rebecca Schulz at St. John's on the Lake. I have to say that it was the best singing I'd done publicly in awhile. I have to thank Connie Haas for making me realize that I was off-track (too much musical theater!).

One of my friends said, "I've never heard you sing classical before." I thought, "You haven't??? What the hell???" I guess it's been awhile.

But I felt like I was singing organically, both technically and dramatically. I really felt engaged with the music in a way that I haven't been for quite some time.

Things are feeling great. Next up: "Mother Comfort" and "Abraham & Isaac" in the Hal Leonard Showcase at NATS Orlando, and a recital with Kay Belich, Amelia Spierer and Jim Norden in November. I'm psyched.

I do have a new manifestation of nerves, which I noticed at the Coronation Mass concert and again today: Burping. Fortunately, it was easy to overcome.

I suck.

That is pretty much all I have to say.

Not as a singer. Not as teacher. But in knee-jerk reactions that I am usually able to control.

I did not control them this past weekend and I hurt someone I care about. Without even intending to.

My apologies. You know you are. Please know that right now, my opinion of myself is....

that I suck.